If you are in a similar situation (have toddler and teenager) and you are struggling – welcome to the club! I knew it was gonna be difficult, but really didn’t expect it will be so hard! Our home sometimes become a proper war zone. And with another baby on the way I can expect nothing more, just to get ready for another, even bigger challenge!
Daniella is now 2.7 years old. She is lovely. Very girly, loving and cute. BUT. She has her ups and downs like every child do. Especially she likes teasing her older sister Luka, who is nearly 12 years old (my daughter from my previous marriage). I don’t have a clue where did Daniella learn all this, but she can be really naughty towards her sister. (Luka can be naughty towards Daniella too, but I’ll tell you about that a little bit later).
For example. We moved Daniella’s toys to Luka’s room few months ago. Daniella has got her cooker that she turns on and it makes quite loud cooking noises. Daniella doesn’t normally play with it. But she likes turning it on just when Luka is doing her home works! Turns it on and leaves the room. Luka is then all upset, switches it off, but Daniella wouldn’t give up – does it again. And again, and again. Till Luka gets mad and I have to separate them.
Luka, on the other hand, is not an angel herself. Often she is not too excited to play with Daniella. I kind of understand that – there is a big age gap between them. But the way she expresses it sometimes – drives me mad! She would just shut the door in front of Daniella’s nose without any explanation and wouldn’t let her in. Then Daniella starts screaming and I am getting crazy again.
With Luka it is becoming much more difficult then with Daniella. I guess you can expect that when they are turning into teenagers. Luka was always very independent. I remember, when she was a toddler, she was completely opposite to Daniella. Daniella is proper mummy’s girl, needs hugs and kisses and very shy with people that she doesn’t know. Luka was different. I remember myself really upset about Luka being so easy to everyone. I needed her more than she needed me.
Until now Luka thinks that she is an adult. Therefore does not like to be told to do something or if she is convinced of something, it’s very difficult to change her mind. And I am not the kind of person who would just keep quiet and get on with life. It simply HAS to be my way. We need to learn to compromise in here.
We have of course some tasks and some house works for Luka. Since she is a big girl now, she must start learning to clean, to cook, etc. Her main and most important task at the moment is to take her dog out at least twice a day. It wasn’t easy. Luka would try to avoid doing that as much as she could by ‘forgetting’ it, being ‘busy’ with something else, or any other silly reason whenever she could to. After many conversations, even threatening to give Salsa away, we finally got Luka into routine for taking dog outside. Victory!
She also needs to clean up her room every day herself. Sometimes to help me with other rooms too. Luka helps me with dinner time to time. Knows perfectly how to peel or cut vegetables. Just needs some forcing or several times asking to do that. Why can’t she just be helpful? 🙂
Daniella needs to learn sharing. At the moment she wants to own everything- her own toys, Luka’s toys, anyones toys. She always reminds everyone, that it’s HER mummy, HER daddy, HER grandpa and grandma, HER uncle Jim, HER baby brother and the list is endless… And just try to convince her differently! I know we are being far too nice to her sometimes. Just because Daniella is the youngest one. But those days will be over soon.
We are planning to move Daniella into Luka’s room in couple of weeks, before baby brother comes. At the moment she sleeps in our bedroom. I know it wont be ideal, as Luka is now big and needs her own space and Daniella is gonna be on her way. We need to look for a bigger place to live! But in the mean time we can count it as an opportunity to bond sisters relationship. They will have to learn living with each other.
Overall they are both lovely girls. And they do love each other very much. There are always happy and difficult times. We love them both a lot. I really do hope that they will become great adults one day.
I now actually realise, that I should have wrote at least 2 different articles about them – each one separately, as there is so much more to say. But lets leave it for later…